


Moments of Clarity

by theatrewraith



Series: Out of Time [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Depression, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Multi, One Shot Collection, Polyamory, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-06-07
Packaged: 2018-04-03 08:11:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4093537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theatrewraith/pseuds/theatrewraith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of six important moments in Steve and Becca’s relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dealing With The Past

**Author's Note:**

> This is a one-shot collection intended to highlight some of the pivotal moments with Steve and Becca which take place between the full length stories in this series. These one-shots are in chronological order. If you have not read To Stand Unshielded, all of the chapters except the first one could be considered spoilers. I decided to keep this as second installment in the series because the second one shot actually takes place during To Stand Unshielded.

The room was still dark when Becca woke up. She had a cramp in her leg, but moving would mean waking Steve. If only he wasn’t such a light sleeper. Since he had just returned from a mission – which, in her opinion, meant he should be getting lots of shut eye – Becca shifted her leg as slowly as possible. She turned her head to glance at him.

But the other side of the mattress was empty.

Becca sat up. She would have gotten out of bed to stretch her leg properly, but she noticed that the mattress beneath her hands felt cool. Frowning, she slid her left hand farther over into the spot Steve had vacated. No warmth, but the mattress cover did feel slightly damp. Steve had been sweating. Either he was sick or he’d had a nightmare. Intent on finding out which was the case, Becca got up and left his bedroom.  

Steve was sitting on the couch, reading a book. He had obviously heard her coming and put on a smile, but Becca could see the strain on his face. Nightmare then. She knew he had them because he’d told her once. However, he hadn’t given her specifics or talked about them since. If he’d ever had a nightmare when they were spending a night together, she hadn’t found out about it. Steve had opened up to her a little bit here and there, but Becca was fully conscious that there was a lot he didn’t tell her. That was technically his call to make, but she had grown more and more concerned that the sheer amount he must be keeping bottled up wasn’t good for him.  

“Bad dream?”

“Yeah,” Steve admitted.

“Wanna talk about it?” offered Becca, sitting on the couch beside him.

“I’m all right. Thanks.” Steve set his book aside and kissed her temple. “We can go back to bed.”

“Hang on,” said Becca as he made to get up. “I’ve got something to say first.”

She had let this go on probably longer than she should have without comment. If she had learned anything in the past couple months of seeing an addiction counselor, it was that talking could really help. Steve was leaving for another mission in two days, so this could be the best chance she got for a while.

Becca held out her hands and Steve immediately took them, although he looked slightly puzzled.

“You’ve been through a lot,” Becca stated, giving his hands a light squeeze. “Definitely more than anyone _should_ have to go through. But you don’t really talk about it. Maybe you feel like I wouldn’t really understand. Or maybe you feel like it’s your responsibility to suck it up. Or maybe you feel like if you don’t talk about it, things will be easier somehow. I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I don’t know how you feel because you don’t tell me. And I know you’re trying to be more open with me, but it’s not enough, Steve. It’s just not.”

Becca let out a sigh. “I’m not saying you have to talk to me. Maybe there’s someone at S.H.I.E.L.D. or somewhere else. I really don’t care who it is as long as you’ve got that support system. Because I’m worried that if you keep all this shit on lock down, it’s going to eat you up. Really, I think it already is. And it’s possible that talking won’t help you, but I’d like you to try. Please?” She could see the conflict playing out on his face, so she added, “For me?”

* * *

Steve didn’t want to tell Becca about his nightmare. It didn’t seem right to burden her with his past. There were things that he thought would hurt more if he talked about them. There were other moments he felt ashamed to even think of recounting. But Becca gazed up at him with wide-eyed concern, and Steve didn’t want her to be worried. She had become more willing to share her feelings with him. Steve knew that he hadn’t been as candid. If Becca needed him to talk, then he had to try. And there was no one else he could do that with but her.

“All right,” Steve agreed. “I had a dream about when I crashed the plane. I guess I was thinking about it because on this last mission there was a plane that tried to take out my team. I don’t know if its guns jammed or the pilot was a kamikaze the whole time, but it just dove at us.

“When I crashed that plane in the ice, time was running out. I knew that a lot of people would be dead if I didn’t do something. But there was also … there was a part of me that… that…” Steve couldn’t look Becca in the eye anymore. He lowered his gaze and admitted, “There was a part of me that wanted everything to be over.” Guilt and shame surged up at once. “I was so angry with Hydra after Bucky died. I wanted them all dead or captured. I didn’t care how. Once Schmidt had died and our army had control of the Hydra base, suddenly that anger was just… gone. I thought I would feel better then.” He shook his head. “I didn’t. I felt…”

Steve had to think over how to explain. “I felt like I couldn’t go back and have a life with Peggy and a home after the war. I felt like I didn’t deserve any better. So I chose to go down with that plane because at least then I’d go down doing something worth a damn.”                

The room was silent for a few seconds. Then, Becca asked, “Do you still feel that way?”

Her eyes were glassy when Steve looked up. He hated to cause her pain, but neither could he lie.

“Sometimes.”

Becca inhaled sharply and nodded like she had expected that answer. “Well, um, I know that wasn’t easy for you, so thank you for sharing with me. And, um… Like I said, you’ve been through a lot, and I can understand how that might make you feel really down. But I want you to know that you deserve so, somuch out of life and you never needed to do anything to deserve that. You should get to be happy because you owe it to yourself. If that sounds dumb or cheesy, but I don’t care. It’s true. And maybe it’s going to be a tough road for you to accept that completely, but I will be there ever step of the way as long as you need me. I don’t care if you have to wake me up every night to talk or if I need to start packing myself in your suitcase so I can tell you every single second that you deserve everything. I will set up a freaking base inside of S.H.I.E.L.D and blast a recording of me saying, ‘Steve Rogers is worth it’ 24/7, and Nick can just try to stop me.” Steve had to smile, and Becca smiled right back. “It’s okay that you have bad days, but I hope that those bad days get easier.”

Whether it was finally admitting how he felt about crashing the plane or listening to Becca, Steve did feel better. Not completely better, but he was feeling a bit more at peace after confessing that he got sad sometimes. Seeing that Becca didn’t look at him any differently helped, too. She might be onto something with this talking business after all. Steve wasn’t sure how much he was ready to share or how soon, but a short talk every once and a while might be all right.

Steve kissed her gently. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Becca snuggled against him. Much to his amusement, she fell asleep barely a minute later. Steve picked her up and carried her to bed. 

The same dream came to him about crashing into the ice, and he awoke on impact. He sat up, breathing unevenly and sticky with sweat. Instinctively, he moved to get out of bed, but stopped. Steve forced in several deep breaths. He lowered himself down, set a hand on top of Becca’s right one, and pressed his forehead to hers. Becca was a deep sleeper. She didn’t even stir. And Steve was able to sleep in peace the rest of the night.


	2. Finding A Home

A section of the wall had buckled where a bullet had pierced through the plaster. Steve looked out through the jagged hole, a small part of him hoping to see Bucky outside. Of course, no one was there.

“You’ll find him.” Steve turned to Becca, who was folding flattened cardboard into boxes. “Or he’ll find you.”

“Yeah. Here, I can do that.” Steve tried to take one of the unfolded boxes from the stack, but Becca placed a hand on top.

“I’ve got it. You pack your bag for the plane.”

Packing was the whole reason they were here. His apartment had been compromised and Hydra agents were still out there. Steve couldn’t stay in a place where he would have to spend the whole time on alert. He was going to look for a new apartment back in New York. In the meantime, he would be staying with Becca. However, Steve didn’t plan on selling this apartment either. If Bucky came searching for him, this was one place he knew to look. Steve intended to leave a note.

Most of his apartment was already in boxes, as he had been packing with Becca for a few hours. The majority of his things would go into storage, so Steve had to decide what essentials he needed to take with him. He picked through the boxes with clothing, pulling out a few items to go in a suitcase.

After a time, Becca poked her head in the bedroom. “How’s it going?”

“Good. I think I’ve found most of what I want. These labels are real hilarious by the way.”

Steve gestured to a box which contained some personal effects from before the war that had been returned to him. It was labeled “Ancient Artifacts."

“I thought so,” noted Becca with a grin. “Which ones are you done with? Because then I’ll tape them up.”

They sealed the boxes and put them into stacks. Sam was coming by later to help them move everything to the storage facility.

“Hey, so…” Becca started, fiddling nervously with the roll of tape. “I was talking with Ally, and, um, our lease is up in two months. She’s been spending a lot of nights with Danny. When you visit, it’s you and me together. I’m not trying to pressure you into anything, but since you’re going to be looking for a new place anyway… I was wondering if maybe you’d like to look together.”

Steve considered briefly. Getting a place together, that was a big step. He had never really pictured living with someone until he was married, but the notion was an old fashioned one. He thought of waking up next to Becca. Eating breakfast in the morning as she hummed along to the radio, slightly off key but thoroughly enjoying the music. Coming home to her smiling excitedly about the latest movie that they _had_ to watch. Sitting in comfortable silence and reading a book while Becca was curled up next to him working on her laptop. Deciding spur of the moment that they were going out on an adventure or maybe spending the whole day in bed.

In the end, the decision wasn’t hard for Steve to make.


	3. The Kid Conundrum

Becca finished setting the final place at the table and strolled over to the living room entrance. She was about to say that dinner was finished, but noticed Bucky asleep on the couch.

Steve had finally found his friend two weeks back, over a year since he had discovered the identity of the man known as the Winter Soldier. Naturally, Steve refused to leave his friend, and Becca hadn’t protested when Steve brought him to their apartment. It was obvious that Bucky needed help, and he was important to Steve. In fact, she had wondered once or twice if Steve… But she didn’t ask. He had enough to deal with right now between Bucky and this registry for people with gifts. Becca helped out where she could. Bucky hadn’t seemed too sure about her at first, but he was slowly coming around.

With a wave, Becca beckoned Steve into the kitchen. He carefully got up from the couch so as not to disturb Bucky.

“Not to jinx it, but he’s had a pretty good day today,” Becca murmured.

“Yeah,” Steve agreed, scooping pasta onto his plate. “Hopefully it keeps up because – I hate to ask it – but I might have to leave you alone with him for a couple of days. These Accords, they’re not right. Someone has to talk to the government, and they seem to trust me. Tony is on board with this and it’s all…” He let out a frustrated sigh.

The superhuman registry was total bullshit. Becca got why people might think being able to track gifted persons was a good idea, but that didn’t mean they should. “Do whatever you have to.”

Steve smiled, visibly relieved. “Thank you. Everything you’re doing for Bucky, it means a lot.”

“I’m happy to help, so don’t you even worry about it. I don’t mind playing Mom while you’re gone.”

Because on occasion Becca felt like taking care of Bucky must be what it was like to have a child with special needs, although the root of his problems was clearly deep PTSD. He broke things sometimes or trailed off in the middle of a conversation. Some days he didn’t speak at all. He had a lot of memories still missing. He might wake up from a nightmare screaming or in a panic. On a number of occasions he experienced hallucinations, like when he cried over a pillow, convinced it was the body of a girl he had killed.

Becca thought she was handling Bucky well enough. She had done lots of research on PTSD and tried to patiently follow the advice, except for the stuff about medication which made both her and Steve a little leery. Steve was unsurprisingly great with Bucky, which got her wondering.

“Do you want kids? Not now obviously,” Becca added when Steve choked on a mouthful of noodles. “But someday?”

For a while, Steve was silent. He stopped eating and stared down at his plate. His expression had gone very grave, and Becca wished she could take the question back. She really ought to think more before opening her big mouth sometimes. However, she had him thinking about the question. Changing subjects would be useless, so she ate and waited.

“Part of me does,” Steve responded finally. “I like kids. I always thought I would have them myself, but… You know I age slower, but any kids I had wouldn’t. Or that's the theory. I don’t know if I could go through that, losing children, maybe grandchildren. And then, the work I do as Captain America isn’t exactly safe. If anything were to happen to me, I’d hate to leave my kids alone with their mother. I’ve seen firsthand what that’s like, and it can be hard. So I guess my answer is that I’d like kids, but I don’t think I can have them.”

He looked so sad and even a little guilty. Becca reached across the table and took his hand. When Steve had laid everything out like that, it made sense why he wouldn’t want to have kids.

“I understand.”

“If having children is important to you, I don’t want to hold you back,” Steve stated hurriedly. “If you need someone you can have a family with one day, it’s all right if you have to go find that person.”

Becca shook her head and squeezed his hand for reassurance. “Honestly, I never felt strongly about having kids. I always figured if my husband wanted them, fine. If not, that’s fine, too.” Since Steve still wore an uncertain frown, she continued, “At least it means our sex life won’t go out the window, right?”

Just like that, his frown dissipated. “That would be a shame.”

“A damn shame.” Becca winked, and they returned to eating. Between mouthfuls, she declared, “I do have a more important question though.”

Looking apprehensive, Steve asked, “What?”

“How do you feel about dogs?”


	4. You, Me, and Bucky

The front door opened, and Bucky leapt up at the sound. Steve reached out to hold him back, but Bucky was already racing towards the living room. Sandy, a pit bull terrier adopted from a local shelter, chased after him. Steve went after both of them.

At the sight of Becca, guilt surged up. She looked so beautiful, all done up for a night out with her friends. Steve swallowed hard, feeling like the lowest scum on the Earth. While she had been gone, he had betrayed her.

“I have to talk to you.” The same guilt Steve felt roughened Bucky’s voice. “It’s not Steve's fault. It’s mine.”

“No, it’s my fault,” Steve interjected.

“No, it isn’t.” Bucky shot him a brief, frustrated glance before looking to Becca. “I kissed him.”

“And I kissed you back.”

The entire situation had come as a shock. They had just been talking about old times, the memories that were slowly coming back to Bucky. Suddenly, Bucky’s lips had been against his. Steve had imagined it happening before, way back and even a couple times since. He had tried pushing the thoughts away. There had been moments where even thinking about Bucky felt like being unfaithful to Becca. That’s how Steve had known for sure, but then, really he had always known. Back in the Forties, loving a man would have been treated as some kind of sickness. He had been ashamed. Now, things were different. Steve had admitted the truth to himself. He loved Bucky, and he had been amazed to find that Bucky could feel the same. When Bucky had kissed him, Steve instinctively returned the kiss.

Then, Steve had remembered Becca. He had pulled back, horrified with himself. He was the one in a relationship. Bucky wasn’t to blame. Unfortunately, Bucky believed he was responsible. Apology after apology spilled out of his mouth as he circled around the kitchen in agitation. For a moment, Steve thought Bucky was going to run out the door and prepared to stop him, but Bucky had stated that he would stay and “make things right.” Bucky had groaned that he had ruined Steve’s relationship with a good woman, but Steve knew that he had ruined it himself when he kissed Bucky back.

Bucky pleaded with Becca, “You can’t be mad –”

“Buck, don’t –”

“– at him. Please, I –”

“– do this. I told –”

“Woah! Woah!” Becca threw up her hands, and they both stopped talking. Only Sandy continued to make noise, barking in excitement. She reached down to pet their dog. “Both of you just – go sit on the couch and breathe for a second.”

Steve and Bucky glanced at each other and did as she said, sitting on opposite ends of the couch. Sandy trotted over and took the seat between them, where Bucky petted her head. Steve listened as Becca put her coat on the coat rack and set her keys in the bowl.

When Becca disappeared into bedroom, Bucky said, “Steve, you have –”

“No talking!” Becca called. “Just breathe.”               

So they sat there in obedient silence. Steve braced for the conversation that would follow. He hoped Becca would yell rather than cry. He hated when she cried. If only his feelings weren’t so confusing. He loved Bucky, but he loved Becca, too. Steve didn’t expect Becca to understand that he loved two people when he could hardly understand it himself.

Finally, Becca came out and sat on the coffee table in front of them. Steve searched her expression, but couldn’t see any clues as to how she felt. “Okay, now that you’ve both calmed down a bit, let’s see if I’ve got this straight. You kissed each other, yeah?”

“Yes,” Steve confirmed.

“But I kissed him first, so I’m the one you should be mad at,” asserted Bucky.

Becca rolled her eyes and muttered, “You boys are…” She sighed and glanced between them. “Do I look mad?”

As someone who had seen Becca angry, Steve could say that she didn’t look mad. She didn’t seem disappointed or upset or any of the other potential emotions he had expected. He was bewildered by her lack of reaction.

“No.”

“That’s because I’m not.” Steve risked a glance at Bucky, who looked equally confused. Becca smiled faintly. “I should probably explain.”

Becca chewed on the corner of her bottom lip for a moment, thinking. “I have lived with you guys for, what, going on seven months now? It became pretty obvious that you two had a thing for each other. I’ll admit, at first I was a little mad. Hurt. Jealous even. But I didn’t think either of you had admitted how you felt. Mostly because I figured that this –” She gestured at them. “– would be the result or something like it. So I let things continue on, and that’s how I realized that nothing really changed that much. I mean, Steve, do you love me any less because you love Bucky?”

Steve responded at once. “No.”

“Well then, there you go.” Becca shrugged. “I love you. And I care about you too, Bucky. I want you both to be happy. So I thought about everything. I thought about what would happen if you boys ever decided to come out of the closet. I thought about how it’s been with the three of us living here so far. Now, I could call it quits and walk away, but I really don’t want to. First of all because I don’t want to break up, but also because I know that would leave some serious guilt between you. I think you’re both already carrying enough of that around. So instead, I have an idea if you would like to hear it.”

Though Becca had explained how she felt, Steve continued to be baffled. He had barely admitted how he felt about Bucky to himself, but apparently she had noticed somehow. Yet, she had accepted how he felt without asking him or Bucky any questions. She saw that they loved each other – he noted that Bucky hadn’t denied feeling that way when Becca said so – and still she wanted them to be happy. Uncertain as he was about how this was all possible, there was one thing that Steve knew for sure. If Becca had a solution that didn’t involve breaking up, he needed to hear what it was.

“I’d like to hear it.”

“So would I,” added Bucky.

Becca nodded. “I’m sure you’re aware of open relationships. I know that they’re something that would have been frowned upon way back when, so maybe it’s not something you’d be comfortable with. Personally, I never pictured myself getting into one. But like I said, I’ve thought about it. If you both decided that an open relationship between the three of us is an acceptable choice, I’d be willing to give it a try.”

An open relationship was not an option Steve would have ever thought to consider. There was a sense of wrongness ingrained about them, the same kind of wrongness that had initially lingered over thoughts about Bucky. Yet, he loved Bucky. Steve had a hard time believing that God could think that kind of love was wrong, so he had slowly come to accept how he felt. If he was in a relationship with Becca and Bucky, he would love them both the same, treat them both fairly. There would be no sneaking behind their backs or betraying one for the other. He didn’t think being in an open relationship they had all agreed to could really be wrong either. Steve decided that he would like to try, but there was a third person who had to make their decision. He looked to Bucky.

Bucky was already gazing at him levelly, pale blue eyes searching his for a sign. Then, the corner of his mouth lifted into an almost cocky smile. It was a familiar smile, though much rarer now, and Steve felt a rush of affection and hope.

“Becca’s been telling me about some of what you’ve been getting into,” Bucky remarked, scratching behind Sandy’s ear. He got that same look on his face as when he had found Steve in another brawl, exasperated and yet amused. “I think it’s clear you’re going to need both of us to keep your sorry ass out of trouble.”

Becca laughed. “Ain’t that the truth. What’d you think, Steve?”

Steve thought he could not have gotten any luckier to have Becca _and_ Bucky. “I love you.” He grinned. “Both of you.”


	5. An Unexpected Proposal

Tonight was their date night. That was, as opposed to boys’ date night or group date night. Being in an open relationship had been strange initially. It certainly wasn’t where Becca had pictured she would be at thirty. After a few months though, she had grown used to it. In fact, Becca felt that she had adjusted pretty quickly with Bucky not too long afterwards. Steve had taken the most time. It had been kind of funny. He had been so hesitant about kissing one of them in front of the other or making out when the third person was in a neighboring room. Then, Becca had gotten tipsy one night and roped them into having a threesome. Or rather, she had nudged Bucky and _they_ had roped Steve. His uncertainty had lessened drastically after that. They’d had threesomes a couple of other times – which was sort of an inevitability since they all slept in the same bed – but really not too much had changed since Bucky started living with them.

Steve and Bucky did seem to have elected her as leader, despite the fact that Steve was at the center of this relationship. Although, Becca supposed she had sort of taken charge by suggesting an open relationship. And by taking charge in the bedroom. And by making executive decisions if one of them deferred to her for support. Okay, maybe it wasn’t that weird that she had ended up being the leader in the group dynamic, but she did try to be fair and keep her thumb on the pulse of the group.

Her concern tonight was Steve. He had been acting weird, a nervous kind of weird that was… well, it was weirding her out. Becca had asked twice if he was okay. When she pressed a bit, he told her that they would talk later. Perplexed, she had let it go. They had gone out to a very nice restaurant. He had taken her to the aquarium, where she got one of the best surprises ever when they got to go behind the scenes and touch an actual sea turtle. Now, they were at the beach where they had gone for their first date, and the stretch of sand was as deserted as it had been back then.

Becca would have loved to sit and relax under the stars, except that she could feel tension rolling off Steve like waves. “Okay, that’s it.” She stopped walking. “I know you said we’ll talk about whatever’s bothering you later, but you’re starting to really freak me out, so you need to tell me.”

Steve blinked at her for a moment, took a deep breath as though he was preparing to plunge into the ocean, and got down on one knee. Becca stared at him in shock.

“Becca, you are the most kind, funny, strong, beautiful… incredible woman that I’ve ever met,” Steve began. His words sounded certain, but his expression – while earnest – still held a shadow of anxiety. “I’ve seen a lot of amazing things in my life: aliens, killer robots, people who can fly or get into your mind.” He smiled slightly. “Pizza rolls. But none of those things have amazed me as much as you. You have given me so much more than I could’ve ever asked for, more even than I deserve. You’ve made me very happy, and there’s only one thing that would make me happier.”

Steve actually fumbled with his pocket for a second before pulling out a small box. “I love you, and I mean to spend the rest of our time together proving it, so…” He opened the box to reveal a ring, a golden band with a single, tasteful diamond. “Would you do me the honor of marrying me?”

There had been a few times when Becca pictured getting married to Steve, but when Bucky came along, she had set that dream aside. It had been somewhat disappointing. Yet, she knew Steve loved her and they were living together, so putting too much value on the act of marriage seemed silly. But here they were. She was surprised, overwhelmed, happy definitely. Thinking over the evening, Becca realized that Steve had recreated a fancier version of their first date and felt dumb for not picking up on all the clues. She would love to marry him, but…

“What about Bucky?” Becca tried to picture how Bucky had appeared before they’d left. He hadn’t seemed upset. Had Steve told him? He must have. Were they getting married, too?  

Steve smiled softly. “He knows. We talked, and, uh… This past year has already been more than we ever expected. Something could happen to one of us while fighting, but otherwise we’ve got a long time left. I don’t have as long with you.” He raised the box higher. “This ring is a commitment to you, _just_ you.”

Tears clouded Becca’s vision. She was touched, and yet his decision seemed unfair. “I don’t want to make you choose.”

“You’re not,” Steve assured her, some of his nerves dissipating under his resolve. “I made this choice myself. Having an open relationship has been great, but to me, marriage is promise between two people. Maybe someday I can have that with Bucky or maybe I won’t. I’ll be honest; I’m always going to love him. But I swear that I will always love you just as much. If you say yes, you’re not going to hurt Bucky. You’re not going to hurt me.” He sighed. “I know I haven’t been your parents’ favorite since they found out about Bucky, but I even got your dad’s blessing. So will you marry me?”

Becca sniffed, wiping away tears. Steve wouldn’t have come to this decision lightly. As long as this was what he really wanted, she wanted it, too.  

“Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you.”


	6. Before the Altar

Something was waking her up. Becca frowned and burrowed her face into the pillow. She needed more sleep.

“Becca, it’s time to get up.” Steve’s voice, but she ignored him. He rubbed her arm. “Come on. You said you needed to be up by six to get ready.”

For a second, Becca hadn’t the slightest idea what he was talking about. Then she remembered they were getting married today. “Five more minutes.”

She was still exhausted. Steve had taken the “committing to one other person through marriage” as including their engagement. Although Becca respected his decision, she had thought he should have one last chance with the man he loved. She had talked privately to Bucky. Originally, she had wanted the boys to have their time together, but she and Bucky had concluded that Steve wouldn’t agree to it. Instead, Bucky had brought Steve home after his bachelor party, where Becca was waiting with a few creative surprises. They’d had one last night together, the three of them, which lasted into the early hours of the morning. Hence the reason she was so tired.

A hot, metal hand clamped down on her shoulder.

Gasping, Becca sat straight up. Sometimes Bucky’s arm was pleasantly warm and other times it felt like he’d been keeping the metal out in the sun. “All right, I’m up. Rude.” Bucky grinned as he let go of her. She tried to smack him, but he flopped back down on the other side of Steve.

Steve caught her hand. “Hey. No fighting on our wedding day.”

“We’re not fighting,” Becca grumbled as he pressed a kiss to her temple. “I was giving him a gentle reminder not to be rude.”

“You should know better than that,” Bucky said through a yawn. He propped himself up on one arm and nodded at Steve. “He’s the one who needs gentle reminders. Me, I like a woman with a firm hand.” Becca rolled her eyes while Steve looked mildly flustered.

“Always the flirt,” Becca chided, but not without fondness.

Bucky had come a long way since she first met him. She was glad that he had found himself again. As she looked at him lying beside Steve, Becca was struck by the fact that this was the last time they would wake up with each other. Bucky had announced that he was getting a place of his own with money that neither she nor Steve – as far as she was aware – knew how he’d come by. He had rented this apartment. Since the building was only one block away, they were still going to see each other, but things would be different. She was ecstatic to be marrying Steve, but she was sure there would be times in the beginning when she missed this.

Becca pushed Steve lightly back down onto the mattress. She curled up against him, nuzzling into his neck. Bucky rested his head against Steve’s chest, and she ran her fingers through his long hair. They lay there, silently enjoying the last few moments of calm.    

“Isn’t Ally expecting you at six-thirty?” Steve prompted at last.

Becca nodded. Ally had spent the night dog-sitting at their apartment and waiting to help her get ready in the morning. “Okay, I’m out of here. I will see you at the church.” She kissed Steve and leaned over to kiss Bucky as well. “Make sure he’s there on time, come hell or high water.”

Bucky gave her a salute. “Yes, ma’am.”

* * *

Steve fidgeted with his already straight tie for probably the hundredth time. He surveyed himself in the mirror and a nervous face peered back. He wasn’t worried about getting married or being married either. It was this day that had Steve worried. Becca had worked so hard with their wedding planner. There were some decisions he had helped with and small tasks he’d done. He had handled a lot of the press. Nonetheless, Steve knew Becca had taken on more responsibility. He wanted everything to go perfectly for her.

Someone knocked on the door. Steve glanced at a clock and saw that it was nearly time to start. Nerves squeezed his stomach. “Come in.”

Bucky leaned in through the doorway, handsome in a pressed suit with his hair combed neatly back and tied in a short ponytail. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah. I’ll be out in a second.” Steve looked over his reflection again.

“I haven’t seen you this nervous since you asked that girl to prom,” noted Bucky. “What was her name?” He stepped into the room, shutting the door behind him.

Steve was surprised Bucky had remembered something like that. The memories that had come back were usually more important ones. “Abigail McLeay.”

Bucky nodded, though with a slight blankness that hinted the name was unfamiliar. “Well, you can stop worrying. You look good.”

“So do you.” The reply came without thought, and Steve winced. He couldn’t go around saying stuff like that anymore. Suddenly, he felt guilty that Bucky was here at all. Bucky had assured him that he was all right with the choice Steve had made, but he might feel different when they were standing at the altar. “Buck, listen, I’m –”

Bucky held up a hand. “Don’t say it. I’m glad you and Becca found each other. She’s a hell of a woman. So you go out there and be happy with her or I will personally kick your ass into next week.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

“Punk.”

“Jerk.”

As they grinned at each other and hugged, Steve was reassured that they would be all right. After all, the end of the line wasn’t coming just yet. 

“All right, let’s start this wedding so I can get to the reception,” pressed Bucky. When Steve frowned in confusion, he added, “Becca promised to point out her single friends. Time to show that James Barnes still has a way with the ladies. And maybe one or two of the men.”

Steve chuckled. “Let’s go.”

They left the room, and Steve went to stand up at the altar. Sam came down the aisle first with Becca’s friend Marta. Next, Natasha walked down with Adam. She winked at him before standing beside Sam. Bucky had Ally on his arm. When they had taken their places, the music changed. Steve’s breath hitched in anticipation.

Becca had never appeared as beautiful as when she walked towards him on her father’s arm. It wasn’t because of her white dress or done up hair. It was her beaming smile that made her radiant. Steve took her hands gently in his and gazed down at her. They had already signed the papers that bound them legally, but standing here with Becca felt more real. One short ceremony and she would be his wife. Becca looked so overjoyed to be with him. The love in her eyes nearly brought him to tears. She squeezed his hands, a familiar gesture of comfort that grounded him. He squeezed back. Steve loved her. Becca loved him. And there was nothing in this world that was going to tear them apart.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you readers have enjoyed this collection. The next full length story in order of continuity is To Stand Unshielded (I did technically write it last), so you know where to look. Unless you have already read that one in which case thanks for coming back!
> 
> This collection almost didn't happen. When talking about to my beta, she was aghast that Steve and Becca were already going to appear as married in the final installment without any corresponding scenes. So thank you, anselm0!


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